Pinoy Tagalog Post No. 1

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Lito Lapid: Why did you write me such a long speech? The people were bored. Secretary: Sir, I gave you a 20-minute speech, plus the two duplicate copies you wanted.
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Doctor: 6 months na lang ang buhay mo! Mag-asawa ka na ng pangit at bungangera. Lalaki: Gagaling ba ako? Doctor: Hind, pero at least, gugustuhin mo nang mamatay.
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I was once asked by a curious 4 year old boy. A question that made my jaw drop and leave me puzzled till this time. The boy said, "Ano po ang animal sound ng giraffe?"
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Ngayong valentine's day: Blue roses for lovers, white chocolates for crushes, pink balloons for friendships. Most of all, for loveless, red... Redhorse!
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Patient: Magkano ang magpaface-lift? Doctor: Complete treatment, P145000. Patient: Ang mahal! Ano ba ang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata? Doktor: Eto, tsupon, P20 lang.